Ahhh..Christmas....supposed to be a good thing right? Nope not here...

After I had gotten home last week...ray came to talk to me outside in the cold...and said he wanted to go back to being 'his old self' and I figured that would be cool. However...since that day nothing has changed. He doesn't stay home or even talk to my family. I doubt he will even be here at christmas. It wouldn't surprise me to be honest.

Being home is nice. Still....I feel out of place. It gets weird when Ray is around....I keep feeling like all the stuff he said that night was bullshit....it doesn't matter though. I'm just tired of it all....I really am. I'm not angry....I'm not resentful...hell I don't even care if they keep blaming me for their problems. I don't care....its all pointless. I am happy with my life and what I have accomplished so far.

My friends will all be here soon. I wish we all had more time to spend together. I really miss them. The other night I got the chance to hang out with two friends that I hadn't seen in nearly half a year. I really had a good time....and I felt good about everything. It's been a long time since I have been so happy.

I just hope this holiday season will be a good one......but right now....I'm not so sure it will be.

Remember when we were kids? We all were young...and when we were upset we resorted to petty name calling....

Don't you think it is time to grow up?

Currently Playing D-D-Don't Don't Stop the Beat By Junior Senior see related

- Move Your Feet!!

Packing, packing, and yes...more...packing...

Tomorrow I leave for home for a much needed vacation. But I don't have to search for job because I will be helping out at home. Actually I am looking forward to it....nothing to stress over about. No school work...no bastard vocal coach who's on an ego trip...and no living in a small white box.

I can't say I hate it here...because I don't. I chose this school for a reason...it's far from easy...but hoenstly...would I rather be at say SFA or UofH and be one of the top voices? Or be here where I'm on the lowest...and I have to challenge myself and in the end become a better vocalist? Sure I could take the easy way out...but that would just make me mediocre. I dont like mediocre.

I'm not really sure what next semester will bring for me. Could be good could be bad...but right now I just want to chill out. I DO I will be getting more involved with Mu Epsilon Kappa (MEK) its the university anime club. My friend Nicole and I might run for an office.....she and I both agree on one thing....the club needs to get out and do things. We act like a bunch of losers...which we are of course ^_~....but we do have lives...as any other otaku does heh. She and I want to try and put together an big DDR tourny. Plus a ton of other ideas. So who knows.

Well gotta pack my car...arg...4 floors to haul crap down stairs...oh well..^_^

One more thing:

                    HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIBI-RON!!!!

People need to grow up and get over themselves. I find it ironic how a person can act all self-righteous and believe they could do no wrong...

I finally got tired of letting people walk all over me...and I got tired of being too damn nice. I stuck up for a person i truly believed in. I felt as long as they had direction....then they could do something with their life. Sadly...I realized such idealisms just won't happen. Why would someone want to throw their life away after they were given the chance to become something worth while?

In this day and age people will not succeed in life without a proper education. People will NOT succeed if their chosen proffession is something they truly do not want to do. Taking the easy way out only brings more trouble in the end.

You make your own decisions in life....and placing the blame on something or someone other than yourself will only blind you of the truth. But then again...perhaps you are already blind to begin with.

Kinda depressing really....

Oh well...back to studying for finals...wooo